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9-28-09 rantrantrant.

my adjustment to college. i was terribly pissed off at Dhara. enjoy.

I really wonder if Olivia knew how incredibly shitty I was feeling about everyone forgetting about me when she drew that on my door. Whether she did or not, it makes me feel better. I mean if she did know, she cares enough to try and cheer me up. If she didn’t know then she honestly thinks that “I’m cute everyone loves me” which is kind of awesome. I bet she knew. How couldn’t she? I’ve been so depressed these past few days. If people didn’t notice they’re either blind or unfeeling. Speaking of which, Dhara is REALLY getting on my nerves. EVERYTHING is about her and no one else can do anything right. I mean, I try and ask her if Radika is an Indian name because I was curious if it was just Hare Krishna or a general Indian name and she corrects my pronunciation and starts talking even before I can finish. I’m pretty sure I said “Hey, is Radika a…” when she interjected. And she did the same thing when I asked about Chandra, or should I say “Chun-drah.” What the hell is her issue? And she keeps bringing up the mall!!! How fucking inconsiderate can you be?? I wasn’t invited to go which hurt enough in itself and for her to keep bringing it up just makes it hurt more. There is no reason for her to keep talking about it. I’m glad Josh called her out. I feel like he feels left out like me. It’s awful. I wonder if they have any idea how terrible I am feeling as a direct result of their inconsideration. Tonight was good though. Thank god for Jenna. I’m so happy she invited me to dinner with them. God knows Dhara wouldn’t have. She fucking almost left without me to go to Olivia’s when she knew I wanted to come the other week. It blows my mind how inconsiderate she is. And she DID leave Matt behind!! How fucking rude can you be?? And she’s so “self-conscious” but she has more than one guy that want s to be with her. I really, really am getting fed up with her. If this keeps going on I will call her out. I kind of did at dinner tonight. No one wanted to hear about the fucking “smart black kids” at her school and we sure as hell didn’t care what their names were. Tonight was decent though. I’m glad I hung out with Jackie and Ashley studying. They’re so nice and funny! And then hanging out with Dylan and everyone in the hall was fun. I’m really glad I got to talk to him. He’s chill. I’ve never really talked to him before. I think I might like that part of the hall better. I really like Jenna and Olivia and Erica. And I like all the guys. Except AJ kind of. He’s kind of annoying. He and Dhara are a good match. That’s awful but whatever. I hope things just get better from here. They couldn’t really get much worse.

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